If life feels overwhelming and decision-making feels impossible, try not to be impulsive; this simple tool could help you figure out your next steps.
Have you ever had that feeling where something doesn’t feel right? Life feels overwhelming, your mood dips, and you can’t quite put your finger on why. You keep going through the motions, but nothing feels quite right. Your mind is constantly wandering off into thoughts of what might be happening. Or maybe you have a big decision to make, but you’re unsure what to do because you play various roles in your life, and you don’t want it to impact other areas.
I’ve been there too, and it can be confusing, even a little scary. When this happens, it often affects everything: our energy, our relationships, even the choices we make. We can’t quite pinpoint where in our lives the issue feels, but what we do know is that the balance of life is not correct.
What I’ve learned is that feeling out of balance is often a sign that our values and priorities have shifted and we haven’t quite caught up. Life changes: we grow from being single to becoming part of a couple, or from just “us” to raising a family. And with every shift, our values evolve too.
That’s where this tool comes in.
A simple values check-in helped me gain clarity when everything felt chaotic. It allowed me to see where I was living in alignment and where I wasn’t. It didn’t give me all the answers, but it helped me ask better questions to get back on track.
Why We Feel Out of Balance
Most of us assume that feeling out of sync means something external needs to change, such as our job, our home, or even the people around us. But often, the real issue is that we’ve drifted away from what truly matters to us: our values. The things that fulfil and give us purpose and ignite the fire within us. That excitement of knowing you’re achieving your goals and not just wasting your time on areas that bring no value to you might be missing.
Our values are like an internal compass. When we’re living in alignment with them, life feels meaningful and fulfilling. When we’re not, that sense of imbalance creeps in, leaving us with a feeling of dissatisfaction and a sense of being lost in life.
When it comes to making an important decision, checking in on our values can hugely help us make the right choice. Exploring which aspects of our life will be influenced by the decision change can provide us with the information needed to determine whether it is a good idea or not.
The Tool That Helped Me Find Clarity
Dr. Julie Smith, a Clinical Psychologist, talks about doing a brief values check in when life feels unbalanced or a decision is needed. It’s designed to help you reflect on what truly matters most in your life, exploring what brings you closer to your values and, as a result, brings fulfilment to your life.
Here’s how it works:
- Divide a page into life areas.
Consider the key aspects of your life, such as family, relationships, friendships, parenting, education, career, and personal health. Whatever feels relevant to you.
- Write down what matters in each area.
In each section, ask yourself: What’s most important to me here? How would I like to present myself and contribute here? What brings me closer to achieving this?
- Score each area twice.
- First, rate how important this area is to you (0–10).
- Then, rate how much time and energy you’re currently giving it (0–10).
- Reflect on the gaps.
Once you’ve finished, examine where the most significant differences lie. Which areas matter deeply but aren’t getting enough attention? Which ones are getting more energy than they deserve? Which areas will be most influenced by the decision you need to make? Will it move you closer to your values or further away?
Why This Matters
This exercise isn’t about criticising yourself or feeling guilty; it’s about gaining clarity and understanding what your next steps could be to retake control of your life and bring your central values back to centre stage. Dr. Julie Smith stresses that this is a positive reflection tool, not a self-loathing activity. By using it properly, you can investigate why you’re feeling the way you’re, make informed decisions, and learn how it impacts various aspects of life.
Once you know where the imbalance is, you can start to reinvest your time and focus where it really counts. That’s how you can bring balance back into your life and reignite that sense of fulfilment and purpose you’ve been missing.
Your Turn
If you’ve been feeling like something is “off” lately, try this exercise. Grab a piece of paper, a pen, and spend 10 minutes getting honest with yourself.
You might be surprised by what you discover and how much lighter you feel once you see where your energy really needs to go.
If you have found this post helpful, please share it with others whom you feel could benefit from reading. Have you tried this simple tool and found it helpful? Please let me know how you found completing it in the comments below.
Always remember, whatever you’re going through right now, you’ve got this!
Chloe x